tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510198324204233853.post5030721496108038666..comments2023-10-24T09:05:07.260-04:00Comments on Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage: LAWS FOR LGBT FAMILIES WITH CHILDRENNancy Polikoffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09582456539859673052noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510198324204233853.post-76677262131255935092009-06-08T15:58:00.244-04:002009-06-08T15:58:00.244-04:00please see the link >
http://beware-of-the-fer...please see the link ><br /><br />http://beware-of-the-fertility-industry.blogspot.com <br /><br />and also ><br /><br />http://ivf-newborns-at-risk.blogspot.com.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11277675455636633976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510198324204233853.post-79826122101216731842008-06-09T10:33:00.000-04:002008-06-09T10:33:00.000-04:00Hi, Nancy. I'm currently reading your book now an...Hi, Nancy. I'm currently reading your book now and I found your blog through your comment on Alternet. <BR/><BR/>As a non-monogamous heterosexual male, I'm interested in your take on marriage as it affects both gay and straight marriage, as I believe that issues affecting gays/lesbians/LGBTs also have ramifications that affect and are relevant to all types of non-monogamous people as well, though I did not see you address this specifically in your book.<BR/><BR/>One case that demonstrates this is that of April Divilbiss, who conceived a child with one man, who never took on his responsibilities as a father. She later legally married one man and concurrently took a second man as her second de facto husband, because the law didn't allow her to marry him, too. Ten years ago, the biological paternal grandmother was able to gain custody of the child solely because she lived in a polyamorous relationship, which the judge deemed as inherently immoral. Because this comes from the same mindset and is similar to what has happened to many lesbian mothers, I think both types of sexual minorities have much to gain by supporting one another and it certainly falls under the umbrella of supporting all families.<BR/><BR/>You said: <I>"We need the same result for our families, but without the biological connection to both parents we need a different set of laws. Plus, in many states marriage only creates a "presumption" that the husband is the child's father. If it's a presumption that can be rebutted by showing the lack of biological connection, well...that still leave our families vulnerable." </I><BR/><BR/>This has worked in reverse, too. Recently in Kentucky, a man who had sired a child with a married woman during an affair and wanted visitation with the child, was denied by the court because of marital presumption. If you're interested, I wrote about it more extensively on my blog:<BR/><BR/> <A HREF="http://libertinethought.blogspot.com/2008/05/dont-bother-us-with-facts-we-have-image.html" REL="nofollow">A Libertine's Thoughts</A><BR/><BR/>Anyway, I'm enjoying your book so far, and it's great to see many of the ideas I've long held affirmed in your book.Libertinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16654747078996932165noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510198324204233853.post-56871359215288208332008-06-06T11:19:00.000-04:002008-06-06T11:19:00.000-04:00Sean--The laws I want are not unique to LGBT famil...Sean--The laws I want are not unique to LGBT families...they are for any couple that using assisted reproduction, gay or straight, as well as other straight couple circumstances such as a man who raises a child with a woman knowing it is not his biological child but functioning as a parent in every way, and seen as a parent by the child. Adoption makes sense but lots of people don't do it because of the money and the need for state involvement in a family they think is functionally perfectly well...until it isn't! Then we need to protect functional parent-child relationships...for children of straight and gay couples alike.Nancy Polikoffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09582456539859673052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510198324204233853.post-66995565647037457192008-06-04T10:51:00.000-04:002008-06-04T10:51:00.000-04:00ok - then try http://needing-fathers.blogspot.com...ok - then try <BR/>http://needing-fathers.blogspot.com <BR/><BR/>I only wish everybody cared if we were happy or sad, that's all. <BR/><BR/>We are not happy so how can you square your wanting to be parents with that unhappiness of ours over being donor-conceived?.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11277675455636633976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510198324204233853.post-33326230978861595722008-06-04T09:56:00.000-04:002008-06-04T09:56:00.000-04:00My partner and I are quickly moving to adoption ou...My partner and I are quickly moving to adoption ourselves in Maryland. Maryland offers two parents adoption now, although it looks as if the relationship in your example did not end during the time of the two parent adoption law or I am sure both would have sought that. However, I recoil a bit at your assertion that we need a special set of a laws for us. If we sek to be different in law is defeats our argument that we should be looked at as the same in law. Instead the discussion here should be about amending existing adoption law to cover those parents who have adopted either a partner's biological child, egg & sperm donor conceived child, surrogate-conceived child, or jointly adopted child so that the umbrella of rights covers them. I would have to look at existing MD law on this for clarity, however, by doing this it bolsters all types of families rather than just gay or lesbian ones. Benefiting all by amendment rather than new law only helps our case in our battle to be "just the same" if you think about it. In the end, once marriage is one we must be aware of these caveats though so when the law does change we cover it all at once from every area.Neely1992https://www.blogger.com/profile/02496049243456059112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510198324204233853.post-56735761091963049552008-06-02T20:01:00.000-04:002008-06-02T20:01:00.000-04:00I think there is room for real discussion about wh...I think there is room for real discussion about what information an adult should have about a semen donor. But you also write a blog called "Why gays are unfit parents" and if this is your agenda then really there could be no common ground between us.Nancy Polikoffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09582456539859673052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510198324204233853.post-55944305030622263272008-06-02T12:10:00.000-04:002008-06-02T12:10:00.000-04:00We donateds see the donors as our parents - whethe...We donateds see the donors as our parents - whether LGBT or straight.<BR/>Blood relatives, whether they are LBGT or not are who we see as our families. We even have our own debating forum called DonorMisconception. There is whosedaughter, another website, and Tangled Webs is yet another. We are ok with who ever is in charge of all this when we are little, but one we get older and compute what is what we all have problems about our identities. Please ive us all a break, we are just a campaining group like yourselves and we are deeply unhappy and living under the shadow of the lucrative fertlity industry that has you guys a bit hooked really, the way any profiteering industry might hook anyone through adverts and publicity and so on. Our version of events is that we donteds see the donors as our parents but a natural/bio LGBT parent would be fine - in fact we pine for our roots..https://www.blogger.com/profile/11277675455636633976noreply@blogger.com